Lesbians of the world can rejoice – they will not have to change their names for now.
But this young girl from New Plymouth, on the North Island of New Zealand will.
Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (sic) is in the middle of a custody dispute between her parents. The court has assumed guardianship over her, and has ordered that she must change her name.
Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii was so embarrassed about her name growing up that she wouldn’t tell anyone what it was – going by “K” instead.
The Kiwis apparently have a fascination with strange names, as the judge commented on a growing trend in the country.
Names that have been allowed:
- Violence
- Number 16 Bus Shelter
- Midnight Chardonnay
- Benson and Hedges (twins)
Names that have been disallowed:
- Yeah Detroit
- Stallion
- Twisty Poi
- Keenan Got Lucy
- Sex Fruit
- Fat Boy
- Cinderella Beauty Blossom
- Fish and Chips (twins)
Last year when one New Zealander couple unsuccessfully named their child 4Real, they opted for Superman instead. Another couple in Sweden went for Metallica.
Some countries ban certain names outright, like Adolf Hitler and Bin Ladin in Germany. Others, such as France, force parents to choose from a pre-selected list. But in America, nearly anything goes.
Dalton Conley Chairman of the New York University Sociology Department said,
You can’t use a four letter word that I wouldn’t use in this interview anyway, and other than that you’re free to do what you want. That’s part of the first amendment right to free speech here in America.
Celebrities seem to be the worst offenders, Gwyneth Paltrow naming her baby Apple, and Comedian Penn Jillette (the guy from Penn & Teller) calling his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.
But then when your parents are celebrities, who cares if the other kids make fun of you?
However, Americans are probably the only ones to capitalize on names for profit. Gas prices are so high in Orlando, Florida that David Partin promised to name his child Dixon Willoughby Partin after radio show hosts to win a $100 gas card.
They sell their kids cheap in Florida it seems.
Program Director at WHTQ-FM, Greg Stevens, said,
(His wife said) this is his problem to explain when the child is older.
The Independent cites some other notable name changes in recent history:
Miley Cyrus
The American teen sensation, star of Hannah Montana and daughter of “Achy Breaky Heart” country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, was originally christened Destiny Hope. Nothing much wrong with that, you may think, but her childhood nickname of “Smiley Miley” (because of her sunny demeanour) eventually stuck for good. She has now formally adopted it, albeit in a slightly shorter version. She has an eight-year-old sister called Noah Lindsey, who is also in Hannah Montana, and a brother called Braison Chance.
Dweezil Zappa
Dweezil actually started off life as the relatively mundane Ian – but only because the hospital refused to register his father’s original choice.
Dandelion Richards
The daughter of Rolling Stone Keith Richards and model Anita Pallenberg was clearly not happy about her hippie name and is now known as Angela.
Zowie Bowie
David Bowie’s son, the inspiration for the song “Kooks” now uses the rather less exotic Duncan Jones, using his father’s original surname.
h/t Natalie De Haney-Stewart of Windsor Law
What does this have to do with freedom of speech? Speech is a form of expression. A person is not a form of expression. Children have no power over their lives until they hit their teens, and are completely at the mercy of their parents. I would have thought it would be a breach of some sort of fiduciary duty as a parent to humiliate your child in this way.
Naming your kid Number 16 Bus Shelter kind of says “Hey, kid: We consider you to be a novelty item. When we get bored of you we’ll just have another one and name it Corner Grocer or something.”
Sure, you can change your name as an adult, but by then you have 18 years of being known as Garbageface or whatever to deal with (possibly in counselling). It seems to me that perhaps the scales could be balanced a little if, when your parents turned 65, you could change *their* names. Payback can be a good thing,..
That’s a good question.
But the 1st Amendment is interpreted quite broadly in the U.S., and theoretically the parents are expressing themselves through the name of their child.
I would seek clarification from Conley directly if interested.