Seriously. The boyfriend’s twin brother sneaked into the boyfriend’s bed in which lay the drunk girlfriend. The twin had a duty to make sure that she was consenting to sex with himself, and not the boyfriend. Any reasonable person can see that. How would you feel if it was your sister?

The number of sexual assaults reported to Edmonton police rose in 2009 and investigators say many complaints involved victims who were under the influence of alcohol at the time…
Campbell stressed that a sexual assault is never the fault of the victim. She said no means no the first time, and another drink can’t change that.

While their focus was on the fact that consent cannot be given if someone is impaired, the message that any sexual contact without voluntary consent is assault was clear.

Voluntary consent isn’t just an absence of “no”, but a presence of an enthusiastic “yes”. People communicate with body language, especially in sexual situations. Want to avoid committing sexual assault? Pay attention to what your partner is telling you.

(@Nick (the first) consent must also be informed. She consented to sex with her partner, not her partner’s twin.)

Aside from the hyperbolic and inappropriate videotape/witness suggestions, all of the tips you mentioned really boil down to being an attentive partner. It doesn’t require you to say “Do you give me permission to stroke your arm this way for 30 seconds, yes or no?” Paying attention to how your partner reacts to a certain touch, asking if something is ok, if your partner likes what you’re doing, what they would like you to do next, these type of questions ensure you’re both on the same page.

It troubles me to see this presented as an unreasonable burden. What is so difficult about taking responsibility for your actions and how they affect another person? The fact is no one can prevent themselves from being sexually assaulted; they can only prevent themselves from committing sexual assault.

Are you afraid of false reports? False reports for sexual assaults have found to be equal to or slightly below false reports for other crimes. The true problem is that very few assaults are ever reported. Stats Can figures only about 6% of assaults are reported, but we cannot know for sure. What we do know is that sexual assault is a huge problem in Canada – 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will be assaulted in their lifetimes.

Why do you take a snarky tone in suggesting ways people can prevent becoming offenders when it is something that so obviously needs to be talked about?

I used hyperbole to show that it’s almost impossible to protect yourself from sexual assault charges and conviction in some cases that are in the grey area. I am not talking about clear-cut cases when a man forces a woman or obtains her consent by intentional fraud.

The law in Canada seems to be that if the woman sees you, and you don’t lie to her about your identity, and she does everything freely, you may still be on the hook because you look too much like her boyfriend. That’s why the prosecution is alleging wilful blindness in this case.

I am not saying it’s bad law but it is pretty complicated law that places the burden on men. So in those grey-area cases (NOT rapists or clear frauds) men could go to jail and get on sex offender lists for reasons that are at least debatable.

The video camera and witnesses suggestion is of course a hyperbole. If a man has sex with a random stranger, and she later accuses him of sexual assault, his story may not get the same hearing in court because of evidentiary rules in Canada. Like I said, these rules have a good purpose, but they may catch innocent men. You can’t really do anything to be completely safe from false charges—hence my use of a hyperbole. Well, you can avoid random sex, and that’s what I also suggest.

Overall, like I said in my post, the good rule is to respect women and avoid random sex with strangers.

“videotape everything (preferably in high definition) in case the facts are disputed in the future.”

Seriously?